Discover How You Can Use Stressful Experiences To Build a Better, Calmer Life
Have you ever gone home for the holidays only to realize that 'normal' is entirely relative? When we grow up, our family dynamics often feel like the unshakable 'way things are' When you experience life outside that bubble, you may start to see a whole new perspective on how your family interacts.
I remember the first time I returned home after moving out. Sitting at the dining table, it struck me that behaviours I had always accepted suddenly seemed quirky at best and toxic at worst. Discovering how my new friends and colleagues, who handled life very differently from my family of origin, amplified this realization.
Years later, these moments of clarity still catch me off guard. Just the other week, someone I hadn't seen for many years nostalgically called the childhood me “chubby little Robbie”. In the moment I laughed. When I walked away, I saw how my family's childhood nickname for me impacted my self-image for many years even as an adult.
These dynamics are not limited to family experiences or childhood memories. They can happen in any situation—at work, in relationships, or even just in daily life. You can turn them into powerful tools for better stress management.
Turning Stressful Experiences into Valuable Learnings
Instead of being offended or angry, I stayed curious. It felt as if she were speaking about someone else entirely—a faded snapshot of a past life. Learning hypnosis helped me free myself from the old reactionary trap, and helped me have more resourceful ways to handle challenges.
How This One Simple Realization Leads to Less Stress
When Susannah first came to see me, she wanted to learn hypnosis to help with stress management. One of the significant stresses in her life was her family. She anxiously anticipated every family gathering, bracing herself for the same old arguments and emotionally draining interactions. With hypnosis, she learned how to forgive her family, and see that their views and behaviours had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with their own struggles. Hypnosis helped her learn how to "zoom out," imagining that she was watching a TV show unfold instead of living the messy reality of her family dynamics. This gave her the ability to let go of her defensive reactions. Instead, she started to explore new ways of interacting.
This new skill wasn’t about withdrawing emotionally or rolling her eyes at their flaws. It was about seeing her family with fresh eyes and releasing the invisible weight she had been carrying.
Susanna learned the essential truth about stress management. Most of our stress isn’t from overwhelming real-life circumstances—it comes from how we interact with those circumstances. Hypnosis helped Susanna discover that she could respond to her family's old rigamarole in more resourceful ways.
Discover the Powerful Habit That Improves Stress Management
Susanna’s next 'aha moment' came when she caught herself reacting during a family interaction. Her usual feelings of frustration and defensiveness bubbled to the surface.
Something clicked this time because she had been practicing her new hypnosis skills. Instead of getting offended and defensively spiralling into her old reactions, she chose a more confident and grounded response.
She began to realize that being triggered wasn’t 'bad', it was actually a gift.
While her family interactions weren’t always easy, her old stressful reactions pointed the way to learning how to be more confident, secure and free.
Hypnosis training helped Susanna stop blaming her family for triggering her and gave her new choices. This changed everything. She was relieved that she was no longer stuck in the same old cycle.
The Hidden Secret to Mastering Stress Relief Effectively
Here’s the game-changer for mastering stress relief effectively: it’s not about eliminating or avoiding triggers. It’s about using the triggers to help us discover how to become un-triggerable.
Stress often feels like something external—workload, family drama, deadlines, or social pressure. But when your buttons are pushed, and you see it as a signpost for where you need to grow, it becomes easier to respond in more resourceful ways and let go of your old reactions.
Sometimes you can catch yourself in the middle of being triggered. Other times, you may have already had your old reaction to your buttons being pushed. Either way, these experiences have the secrets you need to neutralize your triggers.
Here are 4 important steps you can begin taking right now:
Pee out your feelings. Yes, you read that right. Emotions are just like pee. They mean nothing. So let the feelings flow through you, and then let them go.
Thank your subconscious mind for taking care of you. Your old reactions were how you coped with this type of situation. You did the best you could under the circumstances. Be gracious with yourself.
See the insecurities and limitations of those around you. Sometimes, people say or do hurtful things because they are hurting. Other times, it is simply the only way they know how to interact. They may not realize the harm they are causing, or if they do, they are using it to help themselves feel better. Either way, you can pity them for their pain or limitation and know it is not about you.
Fantasize your way through at least 3 new choices for responding to the situation. Are there people you know who feel safe no matter what others say or do? Who is a pro at elegantly responding to difficult people or situations? Imagine what they would do in your shoes. Rehearse these new responses in your imagination. This exercise will help rewire your brain to create new, more resourceful reactions in the future.
The Key to Reducing Stress Naturally
Avoiding triggering situations may feel better in the moment, but it does not reduce stress in the long run. Deep down, you know you are still vulnerable to being triggered. Instead, be thankful for the gift that your triggers give you. They are signposts for becoming more confident, self-accepting and resourceful.
Remember, the key to stress management lies not in resisting it but in using it as the raw material for building confidence and resilience.
If you’re ready to learn more about how hypnosis can teach you strategies to build a better life, subscribe to the Hypnosis Training Canada Newsletter for expert advice and success tips in your inbox.
Now, you can begin to celebrate it when your buttons are pushed because you know how to use the experience to become more confident and relaxed in all areas of your life.
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