Helping Others Through Hypnosis
If you are already having success - as a coach, hypnotist, therapist, manager of people, or simply as a human being - sometimes you feel like you shouldn’t need more feedback, even though deep down you know you can benefit. Other times people are embarrassed to ask for help, or don’t know where to find it.
Discover how a very successful corporate coach improved her coaching client results, and transformed her own life, with hypnosis training.
In this episode, you will learn:
How to build a feeling of safety, curiosity and a sense of humour when receiving feedback.
Ways the hands-on learning and feedback of hypnosis training helps you truly “walk the talk” so you can be the coach your clients need you to be.
The advantage of incorporating hypnosis into coaching and training to take your clients’ success to another level.
Hello everybody I'm Robbie Spier Miller the host of the Hypnosis show podcast and today we're going to be exploring the theme of people who are already having a lot of success and how you can experience hypnosis training to help you and sometimes whether we're a coach or a hypnotist or a therapist or a manager or people or simply a human being if we've had a certain level of success or life experience. Sometimes we feel like we shouldn't need more feedback or maybe it's embarrassing to ask for it even if we know that we could use it. Maybe we don't even know where to get it from. Today we're going to be learning how a very successful corporate coach with 25 years of experience in coaching and leadership. She grew in amazing ways with hypnosis training and the feedback and the accountability that involves so welcome Shona.
Shona Welsh
Oh thank you very much for having me Robbie great to be here.
Robbie Spier Miller
And it's great to have you here so it would be great for you to start by sharing with people. What made you decide to do hypnosis training. What were the things that were kind of pushing you in that direction.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, yeah, great Question. So like you said I work with a lot of leaders in my coaching practice and you know 1 of the things that was really starting to bother me was I would give them information and tools and they would be excited about them. And they would try them out in the workplace and they would work and then they go back to doing everything they used to do before So I started I started thinking Oh My gosh. It's about way more than just giving information. There. There's something else kind of more deeply rooted here. That's going on and. Long story short just reflecting on and learning about how much our beliefs about who we are and how we show up are subconscious and influence what we do and that just led me to hypnosis and yeah here I am.
Robbie Spier Miller
All right great. So I know when you started with hypnosis training. There were some really big growth areas for you and so you've had all this success in your career and and sometimes.
Shona Welsh
Let's look.
Robbie Spier Miller
When we have that kind of success we can play magic tricks where we can kind of hide the areas we need to grow and so we can compensate for it or or distract from it and and nobody will ask any questions because we're kind of we're We're the ones who are creating the world.
Shona Welsh
Yes, yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
Right? And and our coaching clients or our students are responding to that when you chose to be in this environment you you were joining this world and so my role as your trainer was to take away like to reveal the magic tracks right to take away the things that you were.
Shona Welsh
Um, if yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
The crutches you were relying on so talk a little bit about what that experience was like for you and and how important it was in terms of your growth as a coach and a person.
Shona Welsh
Right? Yeah, so another great question I I think all of us now can look back on moments like that and laugh about them. But yeah, my my First. Ah, real challenge was actually in the first course in the basic hypnosis training and to make a long story short. Basically I have received kudos and you know rewards um, professionally and personally. For being that you know straight a student and following the rules and here's the process and just that linear academic learning that. Yeah, you can you know be quite successful with to a point so there I am. And the vasa hypnosis course and you know the instruction was okay, jump in with your your you know, fellow students hypnosis clients and that you know start performing hypnosis inductions and I'm like what wait wait a minute I don't know how to do. And there was something about that because my whole again I got rewarded for learning the process I I felt like a four-year-old. You know where you know I'm old enough to talk and explain things. But I don't have the tools to actually function and so I pretty much. Had a hissy fit. Um, maybe I mean certainly externally but more in my head like what do you mean? I'm not going to be told what to do and that was so out of my comfort zone in terms of how I learn and then apply information. So yeah, robbie had to come on and basically talk me down and then right after that 1 of the other students was asking some of the questions I had and and and robbie answered that student but not me and I and again another little hissy fed and I'm like wow how come.
Robbie Spier Miller
You're going. It's not fair. But yeah.
Shona Welsh
Totally not fair like exactly I'm into 4 year old Shona right? and I I actually said why does he get to ask questions and I don't and robbie in her wisdom right? It just really calmly said to me because he does not need to learn this you do and it this was. Um, this was a moment of truth for me because I knew like in my bones the truth of that and that's what that's what kept me coming back. Is you know I've lived in this world of learning my whole career and went wow. There's something. Transformative going on here and so that was that was the first thing. Yeah, very first course. Ah yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, isn't it interesting how when we when we have ways of coping and you probably started doing things this way when you were really little and you were really good at it. So you you do a great job and you're like ahead of it because you don't want any criticism so you do such a good job that it can't possibly happen.
Shona Welsh
I.
Robbie Spier Miller
But it really kept you from engaging in real life learning.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, totally I mean the thing from the Nlp training the neurolinguistic programming part of the training that really has stuck with me. It just resonated with me is this concept of there is no failure.. There's only feedback and I realized that. My entire life for a lot of reasons you know all of us come from different interesting families was that that you know any sort of feedback that wasn't oh you're so amazing was failure and so this whole process has really really inspired me to. Change my mental model of that and so now when things go wrong I Go cool some great feedback and some days I don't mean it mostly like probably about 80 percent of the time now I do mean it but the days that I don't mean it I go Oh interesting, you don't mean that yet. About this situation Also good information to have So yeah, you're totally right? Like why would I stop doing stuff that I got rewarded for while I realized I want to stop doing that stuff because it doesn't make me happy. And it doesn't help my relationships be whether their business or professional is satisfying as they could be so.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, yeah, so talk about how that learning about being forced to just go and experience it and whatever happens happens. How did that Discovery help you with your coaching clients.
Shona Welsh
Well first of all the big aha moment for me was oh my gosh like you are totally resting on processes and information as opposed to you know. Just sort of completely trying to be with the person and understand the world from their perspective and I mean when you do coaching training. There is a certain amount of that right? you put your ego aside et cetera but but not really like you. You don't learn the depth of it and how could you because we're learning it through. Put your ego aside great. How do I do that. So what the hypnosis training and it's always a work in progress is understanding the importance of not not just with a hypnosis client but with my coaching clients is. Really really connecting with them and creating that rapport and really understanding their world and therefore it makes it easier for you to understand their pain and their patterns and why those patterns have been working for them. But what's going to also help them. You know take that further. So. I I conduct all my coaching sessions completely differently now. Yeah I use the coaching skills that I've learned but I spend a lot more time being curious. You know we talk a lot about curiosity um being the cornerstone of of being effective hypnotist and n' be practitioner and. So I spent a lot more time being curious about their situation as opposed to jumping into solutions because how can we do that if we don't even really fully understand what's going on. So it's really shifted how I react to coaching clients here's another thing too. Robby is. Um, being that you know academically prepared person I always have a plan I got a plan I can talk about these 3 things in the coaching session. We're gonna do this and lately in the last few months. What's happening is I'll still do like a little outline but more often than not the outline gets thrown away because i'm. Better just being with the client and and accepting and being comfortable with whatever happens is what was meant to happen. It doesn't matter what the plan was yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
Because the client changed from the last time you saw him. So if you made your outline from the last time and if they've changed then they need something different and so you're you're yeah.
Shona Welsh
Da clip.
Shona Welsh
That's right? and.
Robbie Spier Miller
Ah, the the answers are actually in the client and you're learning how to trust that. Yeah and it's funny because you you've taken things like Improv classes right? because you teach public speaking you done all that kind of stuff and yet the structure of needing to know the answer is or to know what to.
Shona Welsh
Right? exactly? yeah.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, and yet.
Robbie Spier Miller
Fact was was really strong I bet a lot of the people you coach also struggle with the but they're also trying to follow structure and achieve and get the kudos and I bet they experience a lot of stress because they're worried that.
Shona Welsh
Oh yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
You know they talk about things like imposter syndrome or somebody finding out. Do you find a lot of your clients experience a lot of stress around that.
Shona Welsh
Raise. Oh absolutely and you know I was thinking about a client that I've been working with most recently and yeah, this individual is so worried that they're going to discover that she doesn't know everything about everything and you know I i. I quote for I I quote from television shows and things like that where um, you know, knowing everything is actually counterintuitive but people respond to you better as a leader when they know you don't know everything. And it is counterintuitive to people but it it does help with that imposter syndrome. You know a weird thing happens in people's minds when they get the word president or executive director or whatever lofty title after their names. It's it's like this belief system kicks in that. Oh. I'm the president therefore I must know everything and and a lot of our work is having them realize that's actually not true. Um, there's there's 1 ceo that that I've been just really really short story. He had to tell people that they lost a big contract and 3 hundred people were going to be laid off and we were talking about his speech which was just a bunch of blah blah leadership Stuff. You know we'll all get through this together and he said what do you think? and I said I think you shouldn't do this speech. You should just go out there and tell them ma truth that you're worried you done know how to recover the business and ask for people's health and there was no way. No how he was going there long story short he went there I still didn't know like five minutes before if he was going to do I was there with him and he went out in the stage and he bared his soul. He said this is. What's happened I don't know what to do I need your help long story short 3 weeks later. They'd recovered the business and actually had to hire more people and he's said to me since then that was probably the best leadership lesson I've ever had is that I don't have to have all the answers.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, and you want a leader who's aware. They don't have all the answers because if they think they do. There's a problem right? But yeah, yeah, but getting comfortable with that is a rare thing but that's where the the real leadership comes from.
Shona Welsh
Ah, huge problem. We've all worked for leaders like that right.
Shona Welsh
Exactly.
Robbie Spier Miller
The the Charisma The real confidence comes from facing challenges when things aren't going well and so he was showing them how he could do that and that helped them do it too.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, it's that human connection right? and it's the same thing with being a hypnotist right? as being being okay with trying different things and being vulnerable with that until you, you've lit on the thing that. That actually works for your client and there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, so in your life up until the time you met me mostly you you had kind of this window dressing where you had this way to structure your world so that you could believe everything was under control and you were okay, right? and.
Shona Welsh
Ah, yeah, oh yeah, nothing's under control right in any of our lives at least most of it. It's just an illusion now.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, ah. Yeah, and and so the cool thing is that now that illusion has been taken away and you actually have more choice and you have more control than you ever had right? So Sometimes we grab onto things to to and we believe it's going to give us more control.
Shona Welsh
Yes.
Robbie Spier Miller
But the letting go and the the letting trusting as it Unfolds actually gives you even more choice and flexibility.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, it is counterintuitive right? because many of us have gone through the education system and you know our careers in getting rewarded for giving the right answer or the right process and and so it creates this anxiety that if I. Don't know the answer which many leaders don't especially in this volatile world. Um, you know that if I don't know the answer that somehow a failure versus oh I don't know the answer to this well or can we find out more information about this and that just sort of light curious Way. You know, most things have some way that we can get through them and it's just a question of being creative about it.
Robbie Spier Miller
Right? And so being willing to tell the truth and and it starts with yourself because sometimes we numb out to our own truth and I know you had things like that.
Shona Welsh
Yeah I mean it's such a yeah I mean ah, here's another story from our training right? So about a month ago there was a situation where again we're doing our online clinical training and and and you said to me in my interaction with someone. Um, oh right? Well Shona's you know shown is irritated and I just I just for that moment went really I'm irritated like ah ah and this is how I changed in the last few months I think six months ago I would went I'm not irritated but that night I went. Oh. Well, that's interesting. What might I be irritated about and it didn't take very long for me to figure out I was irritated and I knew what I was irritated about and it wasn't a big thing. But yeah I had this moment. Well first of all, it's so amazing that you work with a hypnotist like you and you and they read you and you're like oh ah, um. But to to realize that there's so much of ourselves that previously. We've been hiding behind and therefore it's been inaccessible to us and to have that moment of truth and go wow. So after that robbie I was like oh now what else am I irritated about that I don't even know I'm irritated about so 1 of the things we learn right? is just paying attention to what's happening in our senses and that's often. Well it is much more truthful than any words we've learned to say.
Robbie Spier Miller
And becoming aware of it Also helps with people, communication and relationships because if you don't realize you're irritated but other people see that they're gonna have a ah reaction to you right.
Shona Welsh
I.
Robbie Spier Miller
And and if you're not even aware, you're going to keep going like a runaway train on whatever track you were on and wonder why is everybody reacting this way and so it gives you a lot more awareness and choice so that even if you are feeling that way you can shift that or grow through it Or. Or be real about it with people.
Shona Welsh
Oh yeah, like you mentioned personal relationships. You know recently I was talking with a family member and they said something not out of not out of character for them. But I had this immediate sort of irritated reaction and. Because of my hypnosis training I was kind of able to in that moment just sort of step aside and watch what was happening to me and kind of binding it funny and going. Oh look what you're doing in a response to him and and this all happened of course in a few seconds and it. Completely change the way I did respond to him in in a way that I haven't before and it was so ah so gratifying in that moment to realize oh wow I've really learned different ways to be more productive and understanding where my emotions are.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, yeah, and you're discovering that relationships are so much stronger and more resilient when you're real than when you used to believe you had to follow the rules or do things a certain way and you were very good at being polished and polite.
Shona Welsh
And then dealing with them better. You know.
Robbie Spier Miller
But sometimes when people are too good at that other people feel like they don't really know you So as a leader real Charisma comes from showing emotion and people knowing you and being confident within that.
Shona Welsh
Yeah. Exactly.
Robbie Spier Miller
And so your ability to do that was limited because of all these rules and this need to prove that you were presenting a certain way and shown as we talk of it this I can relate because I've grown through a lot of these same patterns right? So here we are sharing all your stories I really get those and ah and a lot of other people.
Shona Welsh
Ah, we are.
Shona Welsh
Be enough.
Robbie Spier Miller
Can relate as well. So it's really awesome that you're willing to share this with people because you know then people could say oh wow I'm not the only 1
Shona Welsh
Oh and yeah, you're so right there definitely would have been a time where there's no way I would have said anything about these reactions because I I would have felt ashamed of them or that somehow. I was missing something or if I just learned it the right way then I'd be able to do it and it it is so much more freeing to go? Oh Yeah I was a total @*!% about this and that's okay because I don't know how to do it yet. But I will so it's very free.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, yeah to say oh Wow Thank God that didn't go Well now I see what I need to learn because some kinds of it does go Well, we don't learn anything.
Shona Welsh
Yeah, oh yeah, I mean there's that old saying you learn more from failure than success. Yeah well I've been failing a lot but in hypnosis except for I haven't because it's just feedback and. Actually I had a situation last week where someone dear to me called me up in the middle of being super super stressed out about something and and really sort of just overreacting. And I didn't even think about it I just went into some of the techniques that we've learned in hypnosis and nlp and because this person is near and dear to me and I not a client and I wasn't feeling like I must be you know proper I just did it and walked away from first of all, this person was. Just amazed about how the mind frame switched very quickly. But I walked away from it going. Okay, let that be a lesson to you that when you absolutely put away your ego and don't worry about the right thing. Um you you can meet your client where they need like For example I tried. 2 or 3 different techniques with this person until 1 worked and I didn't stress when the others didn't work I just went oh okay, well that's not working. Let's try this thing and it was amazing. So. The proof is in is in actually doing it isn't it.
Robbie Spier Miller
It sure is yeah so is there anything else that you think other coaches or people who've already experienced success in some way executives and leaders and the type of people you work with. What else? do you think would be useful for them to know about what the benefits of hypnosis and nlp training for their success.
Shona Welsh
Well I think I think a kind of few things come to mind. Um, always keep in mind that when you're a leader that the higher up you go in that chain the further away you get from the realities of the challenges. Your frontline people are having and it's easy to make decisions that. Have unintended consequences and so teaching you to be curious about discovering. What's really going on before you jump is is a really great skill I think the other thing I run into with a lot of leaders is um if you're my vintage which is in your fifty s you've been doing leadership for a long time. And the world is very different and so a lot of my work recently is about reframing what we believe about leadership and reframing things that we used to do that worked that no longer work that no whoops that no longer work and so how do you choose something different and it's okay. You know learning is a lifelong thing so understanding that what you believe to be true about leadership in the past may not be true tomorrow. So just being flexible and being curious are 2 important things. Yeah.
Robbie Spier Miller
No and being real is a big part of that. Yeah.
Shona Welsh
Being around we we talk a lot about authenticity by there's a lot of talk about authenticity. There isn't a lot of in my experience. Not a lot of actual authenticity. So.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, share a little bit about how your personal life and your personal relationships have improved like how you feel about you your stress levels your your own confidence.
Shona Welsh
Right? Which? um.
Robbie Spier Miller
Your relationships with family and friends so talk more about that.
Shona Welsh
Well, ah gosh I could probably talk for an hour but just to kind of summarize it I'm calmer about everything things can go awry and I'll go okay, well, there's. So a way we can figure this out together at at the end of the day you know, really super busy work day whether it's personal or professional I'm not nearly as exhausted as I used to be and it's because I'm not being so nearly hard on myself and like I said when when something challenging happens I'll go okay. Well, that's good feedback. What am I going to do differently I'm spending way less time beating myself up about things so that's brought a kind of calmness and peace to all my relationships I gave the example of a family member where I was in the middle of what could have become. An escalating conflict and I just backed out of it because I was able to see where I was going with it and it it wasn't going to get me to building the relationship um from a from a stress point of view. Um I've been sleeping better. Because I'm not worried all the time about being perfect or getting it right? It just is was what it is and and trusting that I've got a great skill set to draw on and the client will be my guide on on best things to draw on. And then finally 1 other thing too is and this is a complete this wasn't a plan but you know I've struggled with weight pretty much all my life because food has been my stress management. That's why mainly and there's other complicating reasons. But that's it and so just over the last 3 months of. Um, doing self hypnosis around of our own weight loss. It's it's no longer my go to stress management thing and so I'm I'm down 10 pounds without even thinking about it just making good choices. So it's has spillover effects into pretty much every area of my life. Not just my professional life.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, and I bet lots of people can relate to that.
Shona Welsh
Ah, oh yeah, I'm the expert on every diet known to man you know and none of it I mean I could lose weight but it never stayed off and this feels pretty solid.
Robbie Spier Miller
Yeah, yeah, awesome. Good. Well thanks, This is great I think a lot of people will benefit from hearing about your experience. So I Really appreciate you sharing So sure. Yeah, it's great to have you.
Shona Welsh
I was great to be here. Thanks.
Robbie Spier Miller
Go ahead and share with people how they can reach you if they're interested in coaching or hypnosis.
Shona Welsh
Right? So I'm I'm the director of Genesis Hypnosis in Barrie and the website is Gen Hypnosis G E N Hypnosis dot com and we do the free screenings like all of our hypnosis colleagues and so if you want to avail yourself of a free screening just give us a call at 2 four nine five 3 23 6 2 four nine five 3 23 6.
Robbie Spier Miller
Okay, great. All right? And so if if people who are listening are interested in getting hypnosis training. You can go to our site hypnosistrainingcanada.com we've got lots of free learning resources there for you. And if you feel like you're ready to really engage with live training and have a growing experience similar to what's Shona's describing and the way you need then you're welcome to set up a time for a free admissions consultation with me. We'll see if this type of training is a good fit for you and if we can accept you here as a student. So if you're ready for that I look forward to meeting with you and you can either call 800 nine 7 15 7 7 4 to book that or go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and you can book online.
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